I wanted to start this blog, not to give advice, just to make others feel some-what better when they’re feeling down, frustrated, lonely and just straight up hurt. Relationships can suck. Not just… ‘Waited for ages to get a delicious but pricey scoop of Ben ‘n’ Jerry’s ice-cream, then drop it on the floor before you even get one lick’ suck. I’m talking about ‘get overbooked on a United Airlines, dragged the fuck off against your will’ suck. (Sorry if this is too insensitive, or too soon – only comparison I can think of right now).
Truth be told, I’m using this blog as a massive vent for me too. I know what you’re thinking… Why not vent to my friends about my significant other? That’s what girls do over coffee (cocktails), right? Yes, you’re right! Honestly though, I’ve vented too much. They always hear me rant and rave, or cry, or curse and they’re all fantastic listeners; but they always hear so much shit about how he’s ignored me, or swore at me or made me cry enough tears to fill an Olympic swimming pool. We are all guilty of it, over-sharing how poorly treated we are when we’re vulnerable and upset, but never talking about the amazing, fantastic, totally Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds moments of the relationship – which of course, weigh out the bad. I know I want to stay with him, but if I were to vent or complain or even seem one bit upset – they’ll all tell me to leave his sorry ass. I always get the ‘you’re too good for him’, and ‘he is so lucky to have you, if he can’t see that – it’s time you break up’, oh, and the awesome ‘I know it will be hard, but once you leave him you’ll never look back’ one.
I get it! I am all for girl power, and sticking together. I love all my friends for thinking so high of me. But, I love him. If I wanted to leave I would. It’s true – right now, and some of the time, I feel like I could hate him. He pushes me to no tomorrow, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him. So, I want to stay with him – for now anyway. Which means, unless I want another lecture about how I’m blinded by love, I am in no position to slightly mention anything about him to my friends right now. Which is why I started this blog. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like this at times, wondering if I’m with the right person, if it’s all worth it… It’s extremely confusing. So, hopefully my stories and experiences (not advice) can help many confused and in love girls, and guys. Because the way I see it, love is bloody great, but it’s not pretty – it’s goddamn ugly.